A Cup, A Cup, A Cup

I was not expecting to write about coffee, and there is nothing deep or spiritual about this post. Initially I thought it was caffeine that I love but I have realized and accepted the fact that it’s coffee.   

As a child, I loved drinking coffee with my grandparents, but that’s because my grandfather let me put a lot of cream and sugar in it.

When I got older, I hated coffee. I thought it was disgusting. When I needed caffeine, Mountain Dew was my one true love. Occasionally, in a dire situation, I would intervene with NoDoz or Vivarin. In my 20’s I had a job where I sometimes worked from 6:00pm until 2:30am, or later if I could get in some overtime. This job was in a call center, so I needed to be alert as I was talking to customers. One night I was extremely tired. I took a NoDoz but was so out of it that a short time later I had a Mountain Dew; completely forgetting that I had taken the NoDoz.

I was sitting at my desk a little while later. As I was typing, I noticed that my hands were shaking, and my palms were sweaty. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I took a few deep breaths and tried to relax. I held my hands out and shook them, as if I could shake off the shaking, but that did not help. At this point, I feel my heart racing and anxiety starts to take over.

Suddenly, I had this awakening (pun intended) and realized that I had taken a NoDoz and followed it with Mountain Dew. It was like that moment in The Sixth Sense when we find out that Malcom was dead that entire time. Perhaps I should have prefaced that with a spoiler alert, but the movie is from 1999. I’m assuming everyone has seen it or knows the details by now. Sorry if I ruined it for you.

After my awakening, I was scared. I did not have the option to Google “What to do if you consume too much caffeine” and I couldn’t leave work. I started drinking a lot of water and breathing deeply, convincing myself that I would be okay and that the effects would have to wear off eventually.

The effects did wear off and I decided to never take NoDoz, or any other caffeine pill again. I couldn’t give up on Mountain Dew though. He was my best friend and companion on road trips and got me through many late nights at work.

As I got older, I wanted to cut back on drinking soda because I knew it was not good for me. I had to break up with my beloved guy, Mountain Dew. Okay fine. I will admit that I still spend time with him occasionally, maybe once or twice a year. Sometimes if I take a road trip, I roll with him. Just for old times’ sake. I almost forgot; I also had a brief relationship with Monster energy drinks. One day I had another one of those heart racing, anxiety filled episodes, so it was not long before I broke up with Monster.

Fast forward several years. I became an older, and more mature adult. I worked in an office where it seemed that everyone was drinking coffee. I tried to do the same but found that just like I did when I was a child, I loaded it up with cream and sugar. It made the taste of coffee tolerable. The problem is that I didn’t feel good about drinking so many calories, considering my perpetual weight loss struggle. Yet I continued to drink cream and sugar with a few drops of coffee.

At some point, I decided to ride on the low carb bandwagon for a period. I had to give up on sugar, so I tried Splenda. That made me feel weird and itchy, so I gave it up. I knew what I had to do. If I wanted the caffeine, the soda, energy drinks and pills were not an option. I had no choice but to drink black coffee.

I was disgusted by the thought of that, and the taste of coffee in general, so I went without it for a while. Office life was proving to be tough, and I knew I needed caffeine to make it through. I decided to try coffee again, this time, I would make my own.

I started with a French Press. I would grind my own beans and brew coffee. Sometimes the coffee was still a bit bitter, due to my lack of coffee making expertise, but I would drink it because I had to face the fact; I don’t love the taste of coffee, but I love how it makes me feel. I don’t understand and haven’t researched it, but the caffeine from coffee makes me feel better than caffeine from any other source.

Eventually I bought a Mr. Coffee automatic coffee brewer and have learned to make the coffee perfectly, so that it’s not bitter. Now I can easily drink black coffee unless I’m traveling or cannot make the coffee myself.  

I have come a long way, but still was in denial about how much I am in love with coffee. To prove to myself that I did not really need it, I would have coffee during the week and Earl Grey tea on weekends. I enjoy the tea, but it just does not make me feel the way that coffee does.

Finally, this past week, I decided to give in and accept the fact that I am going to drink coffee every day, and I am perfectly okay with that.

I tried but I cannot resist. There is no way I can end this post without putting just a little bit of God into it. With that being said, thank God for coffee!

One last thing…Every morning when I wake up, there is usually a song playing in my mind. After writing this post, I woke up with the jingle that Lena Horne sang in an old Sanka coffee commercial. Of course, I found it on YouTube. You’re welcome. Now you can go around singing it all day like I’ve been doing.

Your time spent reading this post is deeply appreciated. If you prefer listening, all blog posts are available on SoundCloud.