I was driving one day and passed by a metal fabrication company. They had a sign out front that read “Relationship Status – It’s Fabricated.” It made me laugh initially because of the play on words regarding the social media profile option to choose a relationship status of “It’s complicated.” Then it made me think about how true that statement is for so many people.
Social media has given us a platform to be whoever we want the world to believe we are. Filtered photos make our perceived flaws disappear instantly. Pictures of the happily married couple do not reveal the partner who has been incessantly unfaithful and living in fear of the day their darkness will come to light. Pictures of amazing vacations do not reveal the person who may be trying to avoid the realities of life, such as the amount of debt that they went deeper into to take that vacation.
Social media would lead you to believe that this is what living your best life looks like. This is not to say that there are not people out there who are authentically as happy as their social media profiles reflect. I just think that social media can put a lot of pressure on us if we allow it to. I considered the things that I post as well, and what my life appears to be. It is natural to put our best foot forward on those platforms so I certainly cannot blame anyone for doing the same. It’s just sad when it comes from a place of trying to keep up with what society says is beautiful or a good life.
I found myself thinking about authenticity and started to evaluate the relationships in my life, including the relationship that I have with myself.
As I thought of my close friends, I felt thankful for the fact that I can be authentic within those relationships. That is a huge blessing. When you are a middle-aged woman whose love for unicorns didn’t go away with childhood, it is important to have people in your life who will accept you just the way you are. I do not need to paint a picture to try and make them believe that I am anything other than the imperfect, sensitive, sarcastic, quirky human being that I am. I believe they feel the same level of freedom to be authentic with me as well.
The relationship with myself required a lot more reflection. We go through so many seasons in life that require us to conform to whatever we need to be in that season. I realized that in my youth and throughout my thirties I had conformed to so many people, jobs, and circumstances that I suppressed big parts of myself. As the years go by, it is easy to lose sight of who you are and who you are to become; unless you are secure and confident in who you are and allow yourself to adapt to situations rather than conform.
When I entered my forties, I felt a shift taking place. I was told several years ago that entering my forties meant that I was now out of the wilderness. As I approach chapter 47 of my life, I can say that this was true. I certainly do not have it all figured out, and never will. I have simply given myself permission and the freedom to become the woman that God created me to be despite what society thinks I should be. It is an ever-evolving journey, and I am loving the process of getting to know and love myself more each day. So, what is my relationship status? It’s authentic.
As you look at each of the close relationships in your life, there are plenty of things to consider. Are you able to be authentic within those relationships? Are those people able to be authentic with you? Are you surrounded by people who celebrate and encourage you? Do you celebrate and encourage them?
More importantly, are you honest and authentic with yourself? Are you happy?
I’m no expert and can only share my opinion based on my life experiences, but I think it is all worth evaluating. We are not here on this earth for an infinite amount of time so there is no better time than now to make sure you are walking fully and authentically in the person that God created you to be. It is an amazing journey!
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Love your writing. You have a gift!
Thank you Pastor Daryl! It means so much to hear this from another writer! 🙂
C.D. you know you’re words are right!.
Thank you! ❤️
In todays world, it’s so hard to not compare yourself to others, thank you for the reminder that so much of it is fabricated. You never really know what goes on in someone’s head, heart and home- life is not a competition. So proud of you for being true to yourself. Excellent post and I look forward to more!
Thanks Nadia! ❤️
This was a very interesting read, I almost felt as though I was reading my own personal journal. Your perspective sounds alot like myself. I definitely agree about social media & the affects it has on society. It can cause you to lose authencity which I have to remind myself of. For me it’s an outlet, a scrapbook of ideas & pictures that builds friendships & business moves. Your following can be very influential & profitable & that’s just it!! Surrounding yourself around supportive, like minded people. I think you simply reminded us of how we can lose focus on oneself. Sometimes it’s good to re-evaluate your life & you purpose, I can definitely relate.
Thanks Candice. 🙂 I appreciate you for sharing your thoughts as well. We really do have to remind ourselves frequently to not get caught up, and to stay focused on our true identity and purpose.