Variations of this quote have been around for a long time. Until I read it in a devotional recently, I had not thought much of it and would have even agreed. As I continue to learn, grow, and question everything we have been conditioned to believe or agree with, this statement is one I feel compelled to address. I felt it was an unhealthy statement that had no place in a devotional.
Do you think I’m overreacting? I wondered if I was as well. I could not ignore the fact that I felt something when I read those words, so I needed to step back and really look at it. Maybe this is not the best analogy but what came to mind was a memory from childhood when I would play outside. When it started to get dark and the streetlights came on, bugs began to congregate around the light. Even if the light flickered, it attracted bugs. Lots of bugs.
I feel the same may be true with people. Some people have a light within them that shines brightly. That light may be a positive one that emanates confidence and has a certain allure, or it could be a flashing light highlighting one’s vulnerabilities. People may be drawn to that light but not all those people are good. I was going to try and speak generically about this, but I think the best way to get my point across is to use myself as an example.
This is not a low-key stroking of my ego where I tell you about how great I am or how brightly my light shines so please understand my heart in this. When I started this journey with blogging, I planned to keep it light and generic but the more I write, the more I find myself in situations where I have to keep telling y’all my business…but I digress. At any rate, I always believed that if I am a good person and kind to others, I should consistently attract good people who would never do anything to hurt me. I did not realize that my light was flickering, highlighting my vulnerability.
I was extremely naïve and quite gullible. I mean like up until this year. I still deal with remnants of it and must be conscious of getting pulled into situations with people I should not be involved with. If I’m honest, I was the kid and adult who would have gone to the white van because the nice man said he needed help or had candy – and I do not mean that jokingly. You could have told me that this was a bad situation, and I would have believed that because my kindness only attracts kindness, he would never hurt me – especially if he told me he wouldn’t hurt me. Thank God for His protection. I foolishly believed that inherently, all people were good, even if they may sometimes do terrible things. I mean, we all make mistakes, right? I know I am certainly not perfect and have hurt people. Sometimes intentionally out of lack of maturity, most times though, it was not intentional.
Because I have experienced situations where people were drawn to me and intentionally used or took advantage of me, does that mean I am someone who goes around doing the same? No, it does not.
Imagine a woman who tends to attract abusive men. Would you say it is her fault she attracts these men, and it is because she is an abusive woman? It doesn’t make sense, right? I can imagine how she would feel if she were told “Who you are is who you’ll attract.” She may have issues, but they are nothing like those of her abusers and it does not mean something is wrong with her.
I don’t know. I guess I am just reflecting today on how careless, judgmental, and mean we can be with our words, tossing them around thoughtlessly. I suppose the bottom line is before we allow words to fly out of our mouths, let us always be mindful of what we are saying and if it makes sense or if we just jumped on a bandwagon and subscribed to someone else’s beliefs.
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